At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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