we have officially lost it.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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