He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
