Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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