Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
two words...techno handjob
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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