dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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