I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
