i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
