We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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