You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Randomize
