glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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