i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
