I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
