if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
