He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
