I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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