i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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