well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
