I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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