My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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