I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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