I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
