Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
