I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
