Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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