I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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