Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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