Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
