Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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