I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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