Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
