i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Do vagina's smell?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
