he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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