no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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