didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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