I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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