Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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