need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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