Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
