I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
