He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
