She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Vodka?
Forever.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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