Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
