Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
