I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
