Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
