that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
