im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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