so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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