She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
