I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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