He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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