Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
