Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
