ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
